credit-card-debt

A few days ago I got into an argument with my husband. If I told you what it was about you would think I was cr-azy. I guess since I share everything else with my life, I shouldn’t stop now right? We went to Target to get Natalie some new socks and I ran back  to grab a deodorant leaving  Bill to pay for the purchases and he paid with the “wrong” credit card. Looking back, I can see how absolutely ridiculous I am. I told you in one of my Fashion Hauling videos that I am obsessed with using one card so I can maximize money earned on that card. Bill knows that I am a total freak about it but he forgot and paid with this particular card. I just about lost my marbles.

I don’t scream when I fight. I do the opposite – I stop talking and I look away and I shut down until I can calm my mind and talk rationally. It’s worse than screaming I think because I don’t give anyone the chance to resolve the issue. I want no part of the issue. I just want to be alone with my anger which doesn’t really help anyone.

I wish I was a public fighter. Yes, I joke around with Bill in front of friends calling him out on things that annoy me, but those things don’t really annoy me. I just say them to have a laugh with my inner circle. This credit card thing just drove me wild and it took me a few days to see that it wasn’t really about the credit card. It was me adding all this sub-text to what he was doing. “He didn’t use the credit card because he doesn’t care about what I like to do“. Um… NO! That’s not what happened. Bill forgot. That’s what happened. It doesn’t always have to be so dramatic and hurtful and that’s something I automatically swing to when I get upset with someone.

However this fight was the first time that I saw how misconstrued his message was. He wasn’t trying to hurt me in any way and I don’t know why I automatically swing in that direction when something goes wrong.  He was just trying to pay the bill. Simple as that.

When we finally got around to talking about what happened (yesterday), I brought up a few other things that were weighing heavy on me and realized that I’ve been doing this for a really long time. We are in the market for a car. I want the Buick LaCrosse. {{trust me – it’s beautiful}} and when I told Bill he brought up that he wanted to see two more cars. Immediately I was offended because that means my choice wasn’t good enough for the family. Um… NO! Bill just wants to make sure we are getting the best deal. I don’t know why I get so offensive when I’m challenged or when things don’t go exactly to plan, but at least I’m recognizing it now. Hopefully moving forward it won’t be a problem.

Do you add sub-text to your arguments? How do you deal with sorting it out?

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