Learning To Say No
Last weekend while I was in the middle of ‘Getting Gorgeous’ madness I was telling a friend that I had to run home to a cocktail party happening that Saturday night. I was completely stressing over the fact that I had a personal function despite being utterly exhausted from the week.
She told me… “Why not just say no?”
And I said… “Because you can’t say no.”
Naturally – Barbara corrected me and reminded me that I can absolutely bow out of things and it’s not my obligation to get to everyone. I dismissed her and continued on with my day. All the while I kept thinking about what she said and questioning whether or not I was doing the right thing by trying to do the EXACT opposite of what my body so desperately needed.
The night of the party I decided to not attend. I was BEYOND tired and sent my husband who absolutely needed a drink. At about 11PM I decided to pop over for an hour just to say hello. I’m glad I did because I love the couple who was hosting, but I was also really glad I didn’t spend the entire night making small talk with strangers.
Since then I’ve said no to a few other things. I was asked to be a Daisy troop leader for my daughter and actually accepted the position knowing that I would have to come up with activities once every 2 weeks and how I would probably get a migraine like 100 times a month because of it. After some thought (and repeating what Barbara told me) I emailed the Girl Scouts back and respectfully declined.
There was also a beach day with friends that someone is putting together for next week. I thought about it and while I love those girls, I need some time to recoup from the event and the funeral. It’s been a rough two weeks and I really don’t want to commit to anything. Three weeks ago I would have been putting on my bathing suit and packing a beach bag despite my exhaustion.
Even work related projects that I would have LOVED to do I’m turning down. My cousin is walking in a fashion show with Kelly Ripa because I just don’t want to commit to anything. I’ve met her already so I figured to pass the experience along to someone who hasn’t.
These are all things I would be doing had Barbara not had that conversation with me.
Am I missing out on life with this new found set of rules? I’m not sure yet, but in the interim I’m resting and spending more one-on-one time with my kids – which is always the goal.
Where do you find yourself? Do you always say yes to everything? How do you feel about that? What would happen if you stopped?