Last night, I actually went out with a friend for dinner. No kids. No husbands. Nothing but us girls chatting it up and being ourselves while devouring some really fatty food.
Ahh – what better way to spend an evening.
As the meal progressed, I opened up about a personal issue I’ve been having and asked my friend for some clarity. More often than not, we forget that there are people around us that will just listen. She asked for nothing in return and let me do a SERIOUS brain dump on her – the things that have been weighing heavy on my heart for quite some time. The things that perhaps makes us uncomfortable to acknowledge out loud. The things you usually admit when you are alone at night.
But I had to let it go and I felt safe enough with her to talk about my drama because I knew there would be no judgement.
And in that conversation, Barbara said something to me that was so SPOT ON – it almost flipped a switch. I saw it. I saw what I was doing wrong. I saw what I would have never been able to see had I not leaned on my girl. And it made me realize that after becoming a mom, I sort of cut myself off emotionally from my friends. Not from all of them – and not all the time either. But for the most part, I’ve been dealing with my drama on my own. Kids first right? Everything else is just not as important.
Man – that is a far cry from high school where we would all congregate on the bathroom floor {yuck} and open up about how terrible our boyfriends / mothers / teachers were. We were so much more expressive and open when we were younger, right?
It seems that somehow along the way – I started to assume I could handle it all on my own. And that’s just absurd. We NEED one another as women. We NEED to find people who we can be really honest with and who will be willing to give honest advice right back to us.
After that dinner, I felt so GREAT. I felt like I got to know myself a little more – as funny as that sounds. Sometimes you need someone else to show you who you really are.
My name is Vera and I am a control freak. 🙂 I will now start working on letting go of that control.
Veronica
Monday 1st of August 2011
Awe Vera :o(
I agree with you, people lose perspective of themselves. It's classic. Either you put everything into a relationship, or children or career; you often lose touch with others. I think as we get older we find ourselves needing to rely on only ourselves and feel guilty asking someone for advice or help when you know they are probably just as busy! But good for you for dumping that brain and seeking advice. I find that the opportunity comes in small doses but the things you take away from those moments are lingering and life long.
Spread the word, Start the movement!! Hurray for girlfriends saving girlfriends from themselves!
Seriously. T-Shirts need to be created.
lizzys
Saturday 30th of July 2011
take care of the little girl inside of you