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I sort of knew it. My last doctor’s appointment was a complete fluke. That has NEVER happened to me before, but I went with it because it gave me 10 extra days of eating dinner with my kids at the kitchen table.

Yesterday morning, a friend of mine took me to Starbucks. I was allowed to do this under my doctor’s orders. As long as I walked only to the car and sat the entire time – I would be ok. And that’s exactly what I did. We stayed for about an hour and I had a smile on my face the entire time.

Then Bill and I went to the doctor and we got the news. I went from 3cmm to 1.9 (at my lowest). Because my cervix is dynamic, the nurse was getting a pretty big range. She – within one minute – was able to register several scans between 1.9 and 2.5.

There’s me being dynamic…

But it means that we are back in the red zone. I’m just starting my 22nd week today. I need to get to at least 26 weeks before I can stop worrying sick about this whole thing.

We also tested to see if I had a slow leak of my amniotic fluid. They almost sent me to the hospital but then my doctor took me to her office across the hall and performed the test on me to avoid all of that. It came up negative. Thank goodness!

We also set a goal. 24 weeks – the doctor wants me to get there so I can get steroid shots for the baby’s lungs. If you know anything about bed rest, you know it is milestone driven. It sort of lessens the insanity. So, right now I am focusing on getting to 24 weeks. After that it will be 26 weeks and then 28. Small steps keep it realistic. I’m not thinking 37 weeks. I’m thinking – let’s get that steroid shot.

As treatment, I’ve been placed on progesterone. I take it once a day at night and I think I’m going to have to do it until about 33 or 34 weeks (if all those online forums are correct). I woke up in the middle of the night cramping hard and had Bill do a little Google search. Even though it’s not an official symptom, many pregnant women complained of similar feelings. I couldn’t go back to sleep and ended up reading every single post in a high risk forum over on Baby Center. I think I finally went down around 5AM. Needless to say I am exhausted.

 

 

But the baby is doing great. He is about 1 pound at this point and is a gymnast. I am not overly depressed like I was the first time I was placed on bedrest. I’ve had this cry already. I’ve accepted this path already. I was truly expecting it.

I’m not saying this is where I want to be – but I am saying this is where I need to be and I get that. I am happy that I no longer have the choice to walk around because it didn’t feel right in the first place.

Who knows? Maybe me being on full bed rest again will help my cervix. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if I go back next week and it gained back to 3 again? I’m hoping the progesterone and the bed rest will do just that.

I have to believe it will.

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