I’m not the fun parent. Somewhere between starting my blog and today … I became the worker bee. The one that just needs a few more minutes to wrap up a post or an email or a conference call. I’m the parent that is always away. I’m the parent that my kids see less of because that is the structure we set up.
And while I am physically HOME with them all day with my husband – he is the one outside with them playing on the swings while I watch from the window trying to finish up that last video or deadline.
It’s beginning to weigh on me.
I did this. Like I said. I know that I changed our family structure many years ago when I decided to take this blog to full time and make it a business. But BOY – it’s been really slapping me in the face lately.
I’m not sure what to do about this because this is the only way we earn a living. If I push back then we earn less and we really can’t earn less. Bill can’t pretend to be me and take over portions of the blog because… he’s a boy and that would be odd. He can’t get a full time job to lighten up our financial burden because I can’t do my job and care for the kids on my own. So – I feel stuck. Constantly stuck. A pull in both directions. But no way out because if I stop then we lose our HOUSE.
Seriously. I need a better system. Things need to be reevaluated. Time over money earned – that sort of thing. What do I spend the most time doing and how much money does that bring in? THEN — is it worth continuing to do those things?
BUT I have to find the time to actually sit down and evaluate it all. Let’s see when that happens….