First of all, this is the first time that I’m actually seeing the cover of this book as I purchased it as an e-book on Amazon last week. Holy hey now!! That’s THE TIE.

Anyway, I am going to be the absolute minority here and I am fully aware that I actually might upset a few people with this post, but I have to talk about this read.

Two weeks ago, I attended a child’s birthday party and every woman in the room was bursting with excitement about ‘Fifty Shades of Grey‘. I’ve recently dove into the world of romance novels and have obsessively been reading one book after the other for the last few months. Not because I am lacking in that department with my husband, but because when I want to learn about something I submerge myself into whatever it is. So many of my friends ONLY read romance books and I had to understand WHY.

I’m a bit obsessive like that. There will be a day when I decide that I’ve had enough and will never look back. However, that day has yet to come.

So, there I was –  on a plane back from Italy looking at 9 hours of airtime sandwiched between my two children.  I took a deep breath and whipped out ‘Fifty Shades of Grey: Book One‘. From the start, I decided that I like the tone of the book. I LOVE when authors write the thoughts of the main characters in italics in between sentences and this author does that which made me smie. It’s the little things, right?

The first few dozen pages have me locked in. When Mr. Grey tells Miss. Steele that he wants to bite her lip… I just about lose it on the plane. In these few moments (specifically with the above tie) I am happy, happy, happy.

But then you get into who Christian really is – a beautiful, successful, but horrifically broken man – and the book is suddenly no longer erotic for me. Instead, it is… sad. Very, very sad and I find myself crying more than anything else. I KNOW this isn’t what others are feeling. I’ve spoken to at least 15 women who all claim they wish their husbands were more like Mr. Grey. And now, having read that first book, I can’t understand WHY that would be.

This character is shattered. He presents himself as being very put together. He has an amazing job, is well kept, and is very much in control of his life (and that’s an understatement). But inside he is irrevocably broken – so very, broken. And I feel so very sorry for him because I know what that charade looks and feels like.

During the last few pages of the book, when Mr. Grey and Miss Steele are in the bath and she begs for him to let go of her arms and he then begs for her to not touch him… I just LOST IT. I was hysterical on the plane next to my two children. Crying so hard that my children thought I hurt myself. Because behind all that sex and that passion is something that is weak, abused and damaged. But I know that a million other women read that scene and found it to be satisfying because if you remove what’s behind the curtain, it was certainly a fun time.

If I had known that this book was going to affect me the way it did, I wouldn’t have read it. I don’t pay to cry – not in books, not in movies, and not in TV shows. It’s not my thing. But now that I have gotten to know Mr. Grey a tiny bit, I need to know more of his story. Which is why I am moving onto book number 2 and then 3.

I’m curious – did you read these books? Did you feel the same way I did? Or was it really more about the sex for you? I feel like I need to find at least ONE person who responded the way I did to ‘Fifty Shades of Grey‘.

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